All the way home I was desperately trying to sort out my emotions. Thankfully Emily was not in the car - or I might have grounded her for life (kidding)! But I have to say it is a bit surreal to have your sweet little baby just grow up in a heartbeat and want so much independence from you without even batting an eyelash! Then it hit me....this is how it's supposed to be - isn't it? My job as a mom is to raise her as best as I can so she can begin to pull away in healthy independence and do things on her own. Something tells me that when my children begin to live out their independence, it's rarely going to look like I thought it would - good or bad. Just because she isn't just like me or doesn't do things exactly as I would have at her age, or want her to....that really doesn't make these experiences bad - they're just a lot different than I had expected.
Unmet expectations are tough to deal with sometimes, aren't they?? "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" is what Proverbs says and that can be the case at times in life. So it is always best to HOPE IN THE LORD...because that hope will never be deferred or leave you wanting. Letting go can be a tough one for a mom who loves her children with all her heart....but you're not merely letting go - you're LETTING GOD take them and run with them. That little "d" you add to make 'go' into 'God' stands for dependence, my dependence on HIM, her dependence on HIM....it also stands for deepening - the deepening of my faith and my trust in MY MIGHTY GOD who is FAITHFULL AND TRUE! So tonight I'll be trusting Him.
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